


The Shortest "You're Not So Cute" Sterek Fic Ever (Because Stuart Stilinski Already Has Enough Toothaches Thank You and is Adorably Sick of Your Shit)

by FiccinDylan



Series: Sick of Your Shit Verse [5]
Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Fluff, Kid Fic, Stilinski Twins, but only because it's not as cute as his niece, misuse of Halloween costumes, so there, stuart stilinski is sick of your shit, weird Halloween costumes for children
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-12-12
Updated: 2014-12-12
Packaged: 2018-03-01 02:50:32
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 806
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2756798
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FiccinDylan/pseuds/FiccinDylan
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>All Stuart Stilinski wanted was to start a band.  All Maddie Stilinski wanted was to be a star.  </p><p>Together, they make it happen.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Shortest "You're Not So Cute" Sterek Fic Ever (Because Stuart Stilinski Already Has Enough Toothaches Thank You and is Adorably Sick of Your Shit)

**Author's Note:**

> Okay, this is a little different than this series, but it's still fluffy and I had a ROUGH day today so this made me smile. Hope it does the same for you!

All Stuart Stilinski wanted was to start a band.

All Maddie Stilinski wanted was to be a star.

Together, they make it happen.

 

Stuart has a secret.  

Stuart is a landowner.  

That's right, at the ripe old age of 23, Stuart Stilinski owned a piece of real estate.  Judging by the old addage,  _location, location, location_ , Stuart should be glad he moved in when he did.  Instead, he's depressed because the second Madison Stilinski Hale was born, he bought a piece of land that he would inhabit for the rest of his life.

And just where was the location of this fabled prison?  

Around Maddie's little finger.  

From the minute he lifted her up and she threw up on his face, he knew he was a goner.  He spent his days being snarky to strangers and generally unpleasant with customers, and his nights cooing at his niece and goddaughter; trying to prepare her for the world that is growing up under the rearing of Stiles Stilinski and Derek Hale.

"Your dads make out _a lot_."  

"I know, Uncle Stu.  Daddy says that he and Papa are in grown up love and kissing is how they show it."

"They also have sex."

"What's sex?" she asks politely, more preoccupied with the hair of the doll she's playing with.

"Sex is how babies are made.  Be sure to ask your dads, preferably while they're making out."  

Two weeks later Madison finds Stuart and kicks him in the shin.  

"Daddy said to deliver that to you when I asked about sex.  He said he almost swallowed Papa's tongue.  Then he told me a really long story about birds and bees.  Sex is weird... I didn't get it." 

Stuart massages his shin and grins at his niece.

*** 

"Alright Mads, our concert is in 10 minutes, are you ready?!"

"Yes!"  Madison runs out of her and Benji's room and she's wearing... a bean bag cushion with a lot of moles?  Stuart raises an judgmental eyebrow at her.

"Maddy baby, what are you wearing?"

"It's a 'tato costume!  I'm dressed as 'tatos!"

"I see that sweetie, but...  _why_?"  Maddie rolls her eyes at him as though it should be obvious.

"Well, my name is Madison Anne Stilinski Hale."  Stuart nods, although Madison looks like she's the one being patient.

"And I'm dressed like a spud."

"Okay..."

"Uncle Stu!  I'm a MASH Potato!"  Then she jumps up and down and scuffles across the floor while twisting her hips (he assumes, since her body is a potato).  Stu looks at her briefly.

"I hate my brother." The little girl giggles and leans into Stu with a confession.

"Sometimes I hate Benji, but I can never stay mad for long because he's just so damn cute!"  Stuart laughs.

"Hey, what does  _damn_ mean?"  Madison sighs and shrugs.

"I don't know."

"And what's Uncle Stu's rule?"

"We don't say words when we don't know what they mean."

"That's right cupcake."

"So how about, I can never stay mad for long because he's a cute lil' shit?"  Stu grins, remember that Maddie learned the word _shit_ because he said it about her little brother and that was a tough one to spin.  And honestly, Benji was basically Stiles Jr, so  _little shit_ was not an inaccurate moniker.

"That's fine. But let's move on to something more pressing.  First off all, I think it's important that I point out that it's March."  Maddie nods and does a little jig in her costume.

"I know Uncle Stu, my birthday is next month!"  

"Madison, did you know that March is probably the furthest your going to get from October, on whose last day it would be appropriate to wear such a thing."  

"Daddy says that if I wanna be a star, I have to have star appeal!"  

"Okay, and?"

"Uncle Stu!  I'm a potato!  I have loads of peel!"  Maddie breaks out in a fit of giggles and Stuart realizes that while she's inherited Derek's gorgeous eyes and normally cool demeanor; that sense of humor is all Stiles.  He looks at the most beautiful little girl in the world and shakes his head.

"Let's get you on stage, girl."  Maddie squeals as she grabs her uncle's hand and pulls him down the stairs to a living room full of friends and family.  Stuart pulls out a set list of solid favorites (mostly from _The Wiggles_ ) and some original songs Maddie helped him write (mostly about legos, Benji being a little shit, and earthworms... the girl had a thing for earthworms).  He sits on a stool with his guitar while Madison pulls out her mic.  She waits patiently for the count and then begins to sing a little song about a worm named Benji who eats dirt and poops it out so the flowers can grow.  

They get a standing ovation. 

**Author's Note:**

> This was the first of many "Mads & Stuey" sold-out shows. They filled their living room to capacity many times.
> 
> Shout-out to Jenny who made me realize the acronym of the kid's names so I just had to write this. 
> 
> Come say hi to me on [Tumblr](http://ficcindylan.tumblr.com)! You were definitely a cute kid, but you are owning it as an adult! Go out and congratulate yourself for making it this far!


End file.
